Sometimes we need a good laugh

Now I do not know the true validity of the e-mail below....what I do know is the more I read it - the more I laughed and all of us need a good laugh now and again.

The e-mail reads as follows:

"Subject: Why we shoot deer in the wild
(A letter from someone who wants to remain
Anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually
tried this)

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in
a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks,
then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure
was getting a deer. I figured that, since they
congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem
to have much fear of me when we are there
(a bold one will sometimes come right up and
sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back
of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be
difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag
over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it
and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then
hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle,
having seen the roping thing before, stayed well
back. They were not having any of it. After
about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them.
I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out
from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me. I
wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the
end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you
could tell it was mildly concerned about the
whole rope situation. I took a step towards it,
it took a step away. I put a little tension on
the rope .., and then received an education. The
first thing that I learned is that, while a deer
may just stand there looking at you funny while
you rope it, they are spurred to action when you
start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that
pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a
cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight
range I could fight down with a rope and with
some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
There was no controlling it and certainly no
getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
and started dragging me across the ground, it
occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was
not nearly as good an idea as I had originally
imagined. The only upside is that they do not
have as much stamina as many other animals.


A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired
and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet
and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me
a few minutes to realize this, since I was
mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the
big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost
my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to
get that devil creature off the end of that
rope.

I figured if I just let it go with
the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the
time, there was no love at all between me and
that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing,
and I would venture a guess that the feeling was
mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the
several large knots where I had cleverly
arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head
against various large rocks as it dragged me
across the ground, I could still think clearly
enough to recognize that there was a small
chance that I shared some tiny amount of
responsibility for the situation we were in. I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow
death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
between my truck and the feeder - a little trap
I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze
chute. I got it to back in there and I started
moving up so I could get my rope back.


Did you know that deer bite?


They do! I never in a million years
would have thought that a deer would bite
somebody, so I was very surprised when ... I
reached up there to grab that rope and the deer
grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites
you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites
you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull.
They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to
freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming
and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.


It seems like the deer was biting and
shaking for several minutes, but it was likely
only several seconds. I, being smarter than a
deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy
tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I
reached up with my left hand and pulled that
rope loose.

That was when I got my final
lesson in deer behavior for the day.


Deer will strike at you with their front
feet. They rear right up on their back feet and
strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp.. I learned
a long time ago that, when an animal --like a
horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you
can't get away easily, the best thing to do is
try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
move towards the animal. This will usually cause
them to back down a bit so you can escape.


This was not a horse. This was a deer,
so obviously, such trickery would not work. In
the course of a millisecond, I devised a
different strategy. I screamed like a woman and
tried to turn and run. The reason I had always
been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good
chance that it will hit you in the back of the
head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3
times as evil, because the second I turned to
run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws
at you and knocks you down, it does not
Immediately leave. I suspect it does not
recognize that the danger has passed. What they
do instead is paw your back and jump up and down
on you while you are laying there crying like a
little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the
deer went away. So now I know why when people go
deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope......to sort
of even the odds!!


All these events are true so help me God... An
Educated Farmer."

I Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. I appreciate the pictures that you have been sending. I talked with a friend of mine who just returned from Alberta where he and his brother harvested two nice deer in the 160 class. I am also reviewing/editing some footage form a fantastic red fish and trout bite that is going on here in NC. I will be posting these in the very near future.

Stay safe and do not forget to laugh.

rb

Late April Largemouth

Fishing for Largemouth Bass is a favorite pastime for millions of sportsman and women across the country. I fell in love with it myself some 30 plus years ago when as I small child my dad and grandfather would take me fishing. There have been things that have come and gone in my life my love for the outdoors has not wavered. It is important that people understand that fishing and catching fish are two different things...especially when it comes to a creature like the Largemouth Bass.

We have had a colder than normal winter this year in NC (in spite of global warming) and it has been a fairly mild spring. However this past weekend the temperatures shot up into the low 90s....higher than normal for this time of year. I found myself deciding that it was too hot to Turkey hunt, but just right for Bass coming off the bed. After Largemouth spawn they begin feeding and with the water temperatures hovering around 75 degrees, I figured this was the right time to be on the water. The day started out great with the exception of an electrical issue with the boat that delayed me a couple of hours. I had a few strikes to start of the expedition but nothing that indicated to me these fish were very aggressive. After fishing some drop-offs and not having any luck, I struck across the lake to 2 foot water, grass beds, Cypress trees (and their intricate root system) and sandy bottoms. The results were much better. In video below you will see me hook a monster Bass. I said on the tape that this fish would have gone 8lbs....truthfully it more than likely in the 10-12 lb range. It threw the hook right at the boat...I was by myself, no net and could not get into a position to lip the Bass. I know you are laughing saying..typical fishing story...but trust me on this one. I caught a fish shortly after that was smaller than "the one that got away" and she was 22 inches in length, 15 inches in diameter and approximately 8 lbs. Also note that I was not able to get the second fish on camera due to low battery, no cameraman this day...however I did get some pictures of the fish prior to release and I will post those as soon as I get them downloaded from the other camera.

It was 1:30 in the afternoon, 93 degrees and the water temperature was 76 degrees. Each of these fish were hooked at the base of Cypress Trees (10 yards from each other) using a 10 inch pumpkin seed Gulp! worm. (Best bait on the market in my opinion - notice I do not have any advertisements from them)

What I can tell you is this....Largemouth Bass can be patterned - I guarantee that in similar conditions I can go back to these spots with very similar results. I know this because under these same two trees I have caught fish of this or close to this caliber numerous times. I also understand an important fact....80% of Largemouth Bass can be found in 20% of any given body of water. Know their habitat, learn their patterns and you will catch more fish. In the next few series we will discuss into detail the how to pattern Largemouth and help you take your Bass fishing to the next level....thanks for stopping by and see you next time.

r.b. wright